Babysitting Tres
by Samurai Smee
Summary: Oneshot. William turns Tres Chibi, who decides to make the Vatican his playground and a certain someone his Mother. Super cute. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Babysitting Tres

"I've done it!!" exclaimed the Professor loudly, fists raised in a triumphant victory.

Unfortunately, he was in his cluttered office alone, so no one had heard his yell just then. Disregarding the fact, William picked up his newly-finished gizmo and cradled it against his chest like it was made out of gold.

"With this machine, I will be able to make Tres faster, deadlier with more weapons, and better with conversational skills," William said aloud to no one again.

Even so, he smiled and proudly walked out of his office to find Father Tres, machine in tow. He had a pretty good idea where Tres would be at the moment - Cardinal Caterina Sforza's office, so he turned to go down the hall where it was located. Almost to the door to her office, William bumped into Father Nightroad who had come from the opposite direction.

"Oh, good morning, Abel," William said in his usual polite manner.

"Good morning to you, Professor. Say, what's that you have there?" Abel asked, pointing to the weird-shaped, metallic box that William was holding. William beamed at Abel's question about his newest invention. He held it up right in front of Abel's face.

"This is going to make some much needed improvements to Tres's main systems. That's why I'm here now. Come and watch - it'll be something to see!" the Professor said cheerfully.

Abel sipped his overly-sugared tea he had brought and replied with a smile, "That sounds wonderful! Tres will be so happy that you thought of him."

Both men entered Caterina's large, tidy office. Caterina was sitting at her desk reading a report that had came in while Tres stood at the other side of her cherry oak desk at attention. Upon seeing William and Abel enter, Caterina looked up from her files.

"Good morning, gentlemen," she said calmly to them.

"Good morning," both men replied in unison; both hardly able to contain their excitement about Tres' surprise.

"Professor, what is...that?" Caterina asked, eyeing the odd machine before her.

"I'm so very happy you asked, milady. Tres, this is for you!" William said gleefully.

Tres turned to face William and Abel, who both had huge smiles on their faces. Tres blinked, totally expressionless, then asked, "What is it?"

"Instead of telling you, I think I am just going to show you, my boy," William said.

"Yay!!" Abel piped. Unfortunately, Abel had jumped up and down several times as he said 'yay', causing all his gelatinous tea to spill all over William's invention. Even more to Professor's horror was that he had already pressed the button to ignite the red-colored energy beam that was to scan and perform automatic maintenance on Tres.

"AHH! I am so sorry, Professor!" Abel sobbed to the teary-eyed man.

"Uh...oh no," William said quietly as he held the sparking, malfunctioning machine that produced a blue-colored beam that suddenly burst out and struck Tres squarely in his chest.

Tres was pushed all the way back into a wall, leaving a huge crator from the impact. Smoke and dust coated the area that Tres had crashed into and Caterina shot up from her seat.

"Tres!" she called, wide-eyed with worry.

All three of them started to slowly move over to the scene, but were stopped dead in their tracks when they heard a tiny, high-pitched cough. The dust cleared and Caterina, Abel, and William's jaws all dropped to the floor at what they saw.

A Chibi Tres had gotten up from the floor, albeit wobbly because of his new, chubby legs, and proceeded to dust his bottom off. Chibi Tres abruptly stopped his task and looked up at the three (now) giants with his huge, adorable brown eyes.

"What's effweeone wookin' at?" Chibi Tres asked in his baby voice.

"Oh. My. God," Caterina managed to choke out. She was shocked at the situation, angry with William and Abel, and melting at how cute Chibi Tres was.

"Bye-bye!" Chibi Tres said happily with a quick wave before scurrying out of the office. The three adults just watched him go; dumbfounded.

"Handle...this," Caterina growled at the two Fathers. They both swallowed hard from her venomous tone and took off after baby Tres.

After running all the way into the court yard, Chibi Tres stopped under one of the patio tables to rest. He flopped down on his bottom in the shade the table provided and caught his breathe. He decided he could run faster without so much heavy stuff on, so he took a tiny shoe in his hands and pulled and pulled until he rolled over on his back and his little foot was released from the shoe. He repeated the same process with the other show and threw off his cape. He rolled up his sleeves and pants so he could just be in his makeshift shorts and shirt to play. Pleased with his cleverness, Chibi Tres stood up proudly with his little hands on his hips, and surveyed the area.

There were many priests and nuns walking around the beautiful, bright gardens; chit-chatting and laughing. Deciding to play "army" he laid down on his tummy and army-crawled over to a large, empty stone flower pot. As soon as he reached it, Chibi Tres quickly stood up and flattened himself against the stone pot, like he might be spotted. Once the "coast was clear," Tres dove inside so it could be his fort. Chibi Tres poked his head out, cupped his hands around his eyes, and squinted through his "binoculars" to find a target.

As soon as a priest stopped close by, Tres murmured to himself, "Tawget in sight!" Still having his guns (but now tiny, too) strapped to his belt, he took one out and aimed it at the nearby priest's leg. With one eye closed, he giggled and squeezed off the rounds that made a "pop-pop-pop" sound, similar to the sound of bubbles being popped. Tres' teeny, metal bee-bees lightly struck the priest in his leg, who immediately looked down at it, then out to see the culprit. Chibi Tres ducked back down in his flower pot and put a hand over his mouth to muffle his laughter.

"Gotcha!" Suddenly, little Tres was being picked up by two strong, slender hands.

"You gave us quite a scare, you know," Abel said as he smiled at baby Tres. Chibi Tres stuck out his tongue at Abel because he had ruined his fun and games. Abel held him on his hip and walked over the priest Tres had pelted with bee-bees.

"Did you do this?" Abel asked Tres, like a semi-mad parent would ask their child. The priest was not injured, but he had his arms crossed and an irritated look on his face. Chibi Tres turned his head a little to look at the priest, and stuck out his bottom lip.

"Sowwy," Tres said cutely before tucking his head back into Abel's chest.

"I think I need a drink," Abel sarcastically said to himself as he cradled a now sleeping baby Tres in his arms as he made his way back to the Cardinal's room. Abel received several strange looks from people as he passed them; clearly noticing the tuckered-out baby he was holding. Abel blushed and tried to explain quickly as he passed important people by saying snipped things like, "Crazy machine," and "wrong-colored beam."

Suddenly, Chibi Tres stirred in his arms and slowly opened his eyes. Abel thought is was cute at first, but quickly changed his mind and started praying for death when Chibi Tres began crying...loudly!

Panicking and nerves shot, Abel looked all around for someone to assist him with the child, but everyone had made sure to hurry past him. "What's wrong, Tres?" Abel finally asked the upset baby.

Chibi Tres sniffed and wiped his eyes. "Hungee," he said.

"What?" Abel asked.

"Hungee, HUNGEE!!" Chibi Tres shouted.

"Ohh, you're _hungry_. Yes, yes of course. Umm...kitchen! Right..." Abel blabbered before making a mad dash to the kitchen. Along the way, Abel activated his communication device and reported to William and Caterina saying, "Kitchen, kitchen, kitchen! He's hungee!!"

William and Caterina arrived just after Abel's nearly impossible fiasco of finding something Chibi Tres would actually eat, which turned out to be chicken nuggets. Tres was now sitting on the counter with his legs sticking out, happily sipping on juice box. Abel was passed out on the floor.

"Thank-oo, mistah," Chibi Tres smiled down at Abel.

Abel made some incoherent noise as his response to Tres from the floor.

"Well, seems like you've had your hands full," Caterina playfully remarked.

Abel shot up from his spot on the floor, embarrassed that Chibi Tres had clearly bested him. William and Caterina chuckled and Abel's hilarious misfortune.

"Cheer up, chaps, I have fixed the machine. Our Tres will be back to normal in no time," William expressed happily.

To everyone's surprise, however, Chibi Tres put down his grape juice and started to whine. Caterina walked over to him at the counter.

"What is it, Tres?" she said sweetly, minding that he _was_ a baby after all.

As if he could be any cuter, he raised up his little arms and reached out to Caterina. "Up, up," Chibi Tres said with a pouty face.

Feeling somewhat awkward that she was lifting up her bodyguard, Caterina nonetheless, picked up Tres and rested him on her hip. Chibi Tres curled his little fingers in her golder hair and looked up at her with his huge eyes.

"I wike bein' your Gunswingah," he told her without taking his eyes away from hers. Caterina smiled at how sweet and adorable he was, and hugged him tighter. Chibi Tres, feeling happy that he had said something that made her happy, smiled too, and rested his head against her chest.

"I wuv you, Mama," he confessed softly.

Caterina immediately opened her eyes and looked down at the baby in her arms. He still had half of his face buried in her robes and was holding her snuggly. She was absolutely shocked that 1) he said he loved her, and 2) had called her his Mother.

Tears welling up in her eyes and unable to speak words, Caterina just placed a soft kiss on the top of his little head. She had always wanted to become a Mother, and have children to love and care for. So, for the first time in her life, she finally felt like that impossible dream had come true.

It took all her willpower to pull him away from her and hold him at arms' length. He smiled at her again. Tears of joy streaming down her face and with a heavy heart, Caterina placed him gently back down on the counter top and joined the two Fathers, who were misty-eyed as well.

William pushed the button on the machine and a red beam shot out and engulfed Tres in its glow. They had to shield their eyes from the beam's extreme radiance, but quickly looked back again once it was gone. Tres, now back to his normal size, was still seated on the kitchen counter but now with his long legs hanging over the sides and head tilted to a side to avoid the copper pots hanging above him. He was still barefoot with his pants and sleeves rolled up, and was undoubtedly filthy.

"I think I need a bath," Tres stated very matter-of-factly.

"Aha! You see?! Better communicational skills! I am a genius," William announced, pleased.

Both Caterina and Abel glared daggers at William, because this whole situation was in large part his fault.

"But how do you feel?" Abel asked as all three of them inched cautiously towards the Killing Doll; trying to be ready for anything. Tres made a kind of thinking face after he had jumped off from the counter.

"Fully functional," Tres reported to them all, but then looked directly at Caterina and softly added, "...Mom."


End file.
